中澳移民留学

The burning of fossil fuels is universally recognized as the largest source of the emission of [jpa1] greenhouse gases and which is one of the key factors responsible for global warming. And Together with the development of technology and economy, more and more modern methods of transportation (such as automobiles) [jpa2] that run by on petrol have been put into use., which This [jpa3] inevitably leads to tremendous traffic problems and environmental pollution. Thus, some people maintain propose that the best approach to deal of dealing with this problem is to increase the price of gasoline. In my opinion, this measure might work to some extend extent[jpa4] , however, other resolutions alternative solutions [jpa5] should also be given equal consideration.

Admittedly, with the increase of petrol price, some families would cut down on [jpa6] the consumption of gas, especially for those low-income families. Meanwhile, an increasing amount of people would start to consider public transportation or other alternatives like bicycling and walking. As a result, the emission of carbon dioxide monoxide[jpa7] , which has always been regarded as the main cause of global warming, would be reduced in some way, and the frequently-seen traffic congestions would become less common. However, given the fact that the automobiles have already become an indispensable part of people's daily life lives[jpa8] , it is impossible and unrealistic for majorities the majority [jpa9] of families to cancel those essential trips immediately. Consequently, it is predictable that in the short run, the outcome of increasing the price of gasoline would not be as that effective and obvious as people would have anticipated.

Hence, some other measurements measures [jpa10] should also be implemented simultaneously. It is clear that the reason why the environment is polluted on such a large scale is partly because most people lack the consciousness of environmental protection. Considering that educating the public would arouse their awareness of how important it is to make our living surroundings beautiful and free of pollution, more efforts should be put into practice, like broadcasting non-profit advertisements in different TV channels and calling for convincing [jpa11] people to live a low-carbon lifestyle. At the same time, government and certain organizations should take actions to stimulate in stimulating the technological innovation, so that, in the near future, more clean energies sources of green fuel such as solar, nuclear, and wind energy could be used instead of petrol gas, such as solar, nuclear and winter energy.[jpa12] 

In conclusion, the increase of patrol petrol price might be effective to decrease the gas its consumption among certain social groups., however However, [jpa13] only by combing combining [jpa14] it with other resolutions[jpa15]  solutions like arousing the public's awareness of environmental protection and implementing advanced technologies to modern transportation can we achieve a better outcome.

Task Response:  7.5

Coherence and Cohesion:  7.5

Lexical Resource:  6.5

Grammatical Range and Accuracy:  6.5

Hi. This composition earns an estimated score of 7. Minimal errors were observed but were repetitive. Be careful when constructing sentences in terms of word choice.

Keep improving. J

--pierrie

Edited Version:

The burning of fossil fuels is universally recognized as the largest source of greenhouse gases which is one of the key factors responsible for global warming. Together with the development of technology and economy, more and more modern methods of transportation such as automobiles that run on petrol have been put into use. This inevitably leads to tremendous traffic problems and environmental pollution. Thus, some people propose that the best approach of dealing with this problem is to increase the price of gasoline. In my opinion, this measure might work to some extent, however, other alternative solutions should also be given equal consideration.

Admittedly, with the increase of petrol price, some families would cut down on the consumption of gas, especially for those low-income families. Meanwhile, an increasing amount of people would start to consider public transportation or other alternatives like bicycling and walking. As a result, the emission of carbon monoxide, which has always been regarded as the main cause of global warming, would be reduced in some way, and the frequently-seen traffic congestions would become less common. However, given the fact that the automobiles have already become an indispensable part of people's daily lives, it is impossible and unrealistic for the majority of families to cancel those essential trips immediately. Consequently, it is predictable that in the short run, the outcome of increasing the price of gasoline would not be as that effective and obvious as people would have anticipated.

Hence, some other measures should also be implemented simultaneously. It is clear that the reason why the environment is polluted on such a large scale is partly because most people lack the consciousness of environmental protection. Considering that educating the public would arouse their awareness of how important it is to make our living surroundings beautiful and free of pollution, more efforts should be put into practice, like broadcasting non-profit advertisements in different TV channels and convincing people to live a low-carbon lifestyle. At the same time, government and certain organizations should take actions in stimulating the technological innovation, so that, in the near future, more sources of green fuel such as solar, nuclear, and wind energy could be used instead of petrol.

In conclusion, the increase of petrol price might be effective to decrease its consumption among certain social groups. However, only by combining it with other solutions like arousing the public's awareness of environmental protection and implementing advanced technologies to modern transportation can we achieve a better outcome.

 [jpa1]Remove redundant phrase.

 [jpa2]Be more specific and no more need for parentheses.

 [jpa3]Start new sentence.

 [jpa4]Use a noun and not a verb.

 [jpa5]Word choice.

 [jpa6]Missing preposition.

 [jpa7]It is actually carbon monoxide.

 [jpa8]Use the plural form.

 [jpa9]Use the singular form.

 [jpa10]Measurements and measures have different meanings.

 [jpa11]Word choice.

 [jpa12]Revise sentence structure for a more natural-sounding presentation.

 [jpa13]Start new sentence.

 [jpa14]Check spelling. Combing and combining have different meanings.

 [jpa15]Word choice.