Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is wellnown thatIt is common knowledge that sports stars, like movie stars,are among the highest paid professionals, living extravagant lifestyles with big villas and fancy cars. When it comes to whether it is justified that famous athletes make such big fortunes, people hold mix opinions.[KZ1]
Those who belief that athletes deserve the money get defend for the successful sports stars may argue that it takes rare talent and extreme dedication for athletes them to reach the top level of their profession. Michael Phelps, the most successful Olympian of at all times, is so talented that few others can reach his comparable level no matter how hard they train are trained. Besides, it takes extremelyextreme hard work, tenacity, and psychological strain for an athlete to succeed and remain popular. reach to be ace at their professions and to remain their popularity. In addition, the salarysalaries that those popular sportsmen receive are set by the market. Unlike the top surgeons and researcherswho depend mostly on their salaries, the successful athletes can get their fair share of money,which could reach millions of dollars, from match tickets, merchandisesproducts, and commercial endorsementswhich can reach millions of dollars.[KZ2]
Meanwhile, there are people who believe the Those who think the staggeringmoney that athletes receive high pay the successful sports people have received is not fair also havetheir reasons. Compared with topthe social contributions that research scientists or leading politiciansmake, that of athletes is the contribution the sport professions have made may pale in importance. W a good health or a good sports show is self-evident. Teachers, nurses, laboratory researchers are never listeddo not count as the highlypaid professionals, yet they are more important to people’s our well-being and our future than athletes are. those sports stars who make fortunes so quickly.
From a personal perspective, the handsome pay a sports star receives is set by the market and by the special nature of their job—public entertainment. It is hard to say whether it is fair or not. Probably the best way to make a balance is that the government should levy higher taxes on those big fortune-earners and use the tax money to sponsor the other more important importanceprofessionssuch as teaching and health care.
Hi, how are you?
Except for the lack of thesis statement (which will greatly affect your rating), overall, I like this essay. the reasoning and word flow in generally smooth. There are missing phrases that could complete ideas and some wrongly formed words, but nothing that impedes communication.
It is common knowledge that sports starsare among the highest paid professionals, living extravagant lifestyles with big villas and fancy cars. When it comes to whether it is justified that famous athletes make such big fortunes, people hold mix opinions.[KZ3]
Those who belief that athletes deserve the money they receive may argue that it takes rare talent and extreme dedication for athletes to reach the top of their profession. Michael Phelps, the most successful Olympian of all times, is so talented that few others can reach his level no matter how hard they train. Besides, it takes extreme hard work, tenacity, and psychological strain for an athlete to succeed and remain popular. In addition, the salaries that popular sportsmen receive are set by the market. Unlike the top surgeons and researchers who depend mostly on their salaries, successful athletes can get their fair share of money,which could reach millions of dollars, from match tickets, merchandises, and commercial endorsements.
Meanwhile, there are people who believe the staggering money that athletes receive is not fair. Compared with the social contributions that research scientists or leading politicians make, that of athletes is in importance. Teachers, nurses, laboratory researchers do not count as highlypaid professionals, yet they are more important to people’s well-being and future than athletes are.
From a personal perspective, the handsome pay a sports star receives is set by the market and by the special nature of their job—public entertainment. It is hard to say whether it is fair or not. Probably the best way to make a balance is that the government should levy higher taxes on those big fortune-earners and use the tax money to sponsor other more important professions such as teaching and health care.
Good luck!
Tip for the day
Guide to Writing Thesis Statements
Your thesis statement is the central argument of your essay. It must be concise and well-written.
Your thesis goes in the introductory paragraph. Don't hide it; make it clearly asserted at the beginning of your paper.
Your thesis must make an argument. It is the road map to the argument you will subsequently develop in your paper.
The key difference between an opinion statement and thesis statement is that a thesis conveys to the reader that the claim being offered has been thoroughly explored and is defendable by evidence. It answers the "what" question (what is the argument?) and it gives the reader a clue as to the "why" question (why is this argument the most persuasive?).
Examples of good thesis statements:
"The ability to purchase television advertising is essential for any candidate's bid for election to the Senate because television reaches millions of people and thus has the ability to dramatically increase name recognition."
The organizational structure of the United Nations, namely consensus voting in the security council, makes it incapable of preventing war between major powers."
1. Thesis statements must make a claim or argument. They are not statements of fact.
Statement of fact: "A candidates ability to afford television advertising can have an impact on the outcome of Congressional elections." This is essentially an indisputable point and therefore, not a thesis statement.
Similarly, the claim "The United Nations was established to promote diplomacy between major powers." is not likely to inspire much debate.
2. Thesis statements are not merely opinion statements.
Statement of opinion:"Congressional elections are simply the result of who has the most money." This statement does make a claim, but in this format it is too much of an opinion and not enough of an argument.
Similarly, "The United Nations is incapable of preventing war" is closer to a thesis statement than the factual statement above because it raises a point that is debatable. But in this format, it doesn't offer the reader much information; it sounds like the author is simply stating a viewpoint that may or may not be substantiated by evidence.
In conclusion, your thesis should make clear what your argument is; it should also provide the reader with some indication of why your argument is persuasive.
For example: In the congressional elections example, why is money important (and whose money? The candidates'? Corporations'? Special interests'?), are other factors irrelevant (the candidates' views on the issues?) and for which types of elections is this true (is your argument equally true for Senatorial elections and elections for the House of Representatives? Why or why not?)?
In the other example, you will need to think about why the United Nations is not capable of preventing war. Your thesis should indicate that you have an understanding of the relevant historical circumstances and that you are aware of alternative explanations.
Of course, one can re-work a thesis statement indefinitely and one can almost always find something at fault with it. The point is that you must be sure that your thesis statement is indicating to your reader that you have an argument to make.
From <http://depts.washington.edu/pswrite/thesisstmt.html>
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How To Write a Thesis Statement
What is a Thesis Statement?
Almost all of us—even if we don’t do it consciously—look early in an essay for a one- or two-sentence condensation of the argument or analysis that is to follow. We refer to that condensation as a thesis statement.
Why Should Your Essay Contain a Thesis Statement?
to test your ideas by distilling them into a sentence or two
to better organize and develop your argument
to provide your reader with a “guide” to your argument
In general, your thesis statement will accomplish these goals if you think of the thesis as the answer to the question your paper explores.
How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is Assigned
Almost all assignments, no matter how complicated, can be reduced to a single question. Your first step, then, is to distill the assignment into a specific question. For example, if your assignment is, “Write a report to the local school board explaining the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class,” turn the request into a question like, “What are the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class?” After you’ve chosen the question your essay will answer, compose one or two complete sentences answering that question.
Q: “What are the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class?”
A: “The potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class are . . .”
OR
A: “Using computers in a fourth-grade class promises to improve . . .”
The answer to the question is the thesis statement for the essay.
How to Tell a Strong Thesis Statement from a Weak One
1. A strong thesis statement takes some sort of stand.
Remember that your thesis needs to show your conclusions about a subject. For example, if you are writing a paper for a class on fitness, you might be asked to choose a popular weight-loss product to evaluate. Here are two thesis statements:
There are some negative and positive aspects to the Banana Herb Tea Supplement.
This is a weak thesis statement. First, it fails to take a stand. Second, the phrase negative and positive aspects is vague.
Because Banana Herb Tea Supplement promotes rapid weight loss that results in the loss of muscle and
lean body mass, it poses a potential danger to customers.
This is a strong thesis because it takes a stand, and because it's specific.
2. A strong thesis statement justifies discussion.
Your thesis should indicate the point of the discussion. If your assignment is to write a paper on kinship systems, using your own family as an example, you might come up with either of these two thesis statements:
My family is an extended family.
This is a weak thesis because it merely states an observation. Your reader won’t be able to tell the point of the statement, and will probably stop reading.
While most American families would view consanguineal marriage as a threat to the nuclear family structure, many Iranian families, like my own, believe that these marriages help reinforce kinship ties in an extended family.
This is a strong thesis because it shows how your experience contradicts a widely-accepted view. A good strategy for creating a strong thesis is to show that the topic is controversial. Readers will be interested in reading the rest of the essay to see how you support your point.
3. A strong thesis statement expresses one main idea.
Readers need to be able to see that your paper has one main point. If your thesis statement expresses more than one idea, then you might confuse your readers about the subject of your paper. For example:
Companies need to exploit the marketing potential of the Internet, and Web pages can provide both advertising and customer support.
This is a weak thesis statement because the reader can’t decide whether the paper is about marketing on the Internet or Web pages. To revise the thesis, the relationship between the two ideas needs to become more clear. One way to revise the thesis would be to write:
Because the Internet is filled with tremendous marketing potential, companies should exploit this potential by using Web pages that offer both advertising and customer support.
This is a strong thesis because it shows that the two ideas are related. Hint: a great many clear and engaging thesis statements contain words like because, since, so, although, unless, and however.
4. A strong thesis statement is specific.
A thesis statement should show exactly what your paper will be about, and will help you keep your paper to a manageable topic. For example, if you're writing a seven-to-ten page paper on hunger, you might say:
World hunger has many causes and effects.
This is a weak thesis statement for two major reasons. First, world hunger can’t be discussed thoroughly in seven to ten pages. Second, many causes and effects is vague. You should be able to identify specific causes and effects. A revised thesis might look like this:
Hunger persists in Glandelinia because jobs are scarce and farming in the infertile soil is rarely profitable.
This is a strong thesis statement because it narrows the subject to a more specific and manageable topic, and it also identifies the specific causes for the existence of hunger.
Produced by Writing Tutorial Services, Indiana University, Bloomington, IN
From <http://www.indiana.edu/~wts/pamphlets/thesis_statement.shtml>
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Quick Hints for Drafting Thesis Statements
1. State a clearly defined opinion on the topic. It is never a question.
Example: Do you think that we should have to pay a state sales tax?
Change to: Citizens should not have to pay a state sales tax due to the other avenues of revenue the state can draw upon for its budget.
2. Assert one main idea. Do not deal with multiple issues.
Example: Even though the Beatles had funky haircuts and were immortalized by John Lennon's assassination, Elvis could sing better, dance more rhythmically, and create a frenzied crowd more effectively than the Beatles.
Change to: Elvis could sing better, dance more rhythmically, and create a frenzied crowd more effectively than any other singer(s) between the late 1950's - 1970's.
3. Lead to a discussion in the rest of the essay. Do not just state a fact.
Example: B.B. King is a well-known blues singer.
Change to: B.B. King's unique style and immense talent enabled him to become the most well-known blues singer and guitarist in American history.
4. Limit the scope of the assignment. Do include irrelevant material.
Example: The U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee, the one that held the hearing that included Bill Gates and the owner of Dell Computers, Michael Dell, who is, by the way, very young, has the difficult task of confirming federal judicial nominees.
Change to: The U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee can be very contentious, an attribute that often makes holding hearings and confirming federal judges difficult.
5. Make the statement in specific, clear terms. Do not clutter it with fuzzy, trite phrases.
Example: In my opinion, I truly believe and am totally convinced that for the most part, students should not have to, at least not usually, buy parking stickers.
Change to: Because students already pay tuition and fees at their universities and colleges, they should not be required to purchase parking stickers.
6. Make an accurate forecast of what is to come but not a flat announcement of topic.
Example: This essay will be about the life of John F. Kennedy.
Change to: John F. Kennedy's presidential campaign call for economic growth formed a significant element of his administration's overall goals for improving America.
7. Be rational and reasonable in tone and diction. No name calling!
Example: Any idiot who thinks that guns should be banned from the private sector deserves to be an outcast.
Change to: While violence in America has certainly increased in the past decade, further restrictions on gun ownership will not necessarily solve this problem.
From <http://writingcenter.unlv.edu/writing/thesis.html>
[KZ1]When writing an introduction for a ‘discuss both view and give your own opinion’ type of task, you mention (paraphrase) the two views and then you briefly give your opinion about the issue. Without this, you will not have a thesis statement, which is the essential part of an essay.
[KZ2]What you are comparing is not that clear.
[KZ3]When writing an introduction for a ‘discuss both view and give your own opinion’ type of task, you mention (paraphrase) the two views and then you briefly give your opinion about the issue. Without this, you will not have a thesis statement, which is the essential part of an essay.
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